Back in 2001, The Emler Report was published by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation as a meta analysis of studies done worldwide into the causes, characteristics, and consequences of low self esteem. This was a big deal because it was such a widespread, universal meta analysis of so much research.
Contradicting a lot of simplistic early thinking, it found that the actual characteristics of people with low self esteem are:
Consistent Characteristics of Low Self Esteem
- Anxiety and emotional turmoil. Depression and/or bouts of sadness.
- Social withdrawal.
- Lack of social skills and self confidence.
- Less social conformity.
- Eating disorders.
- An inability to accept compliments.
- An inability to see themselves ‘squarely’ – to be fair to themselves.
- Accentuating the negative.
- Exaggerated concern over what they imagine other people think.
- Feeling they are much uglier and stupider than objective observers view them.
- Self neglect.
- Treating themselves badly but not other people.
- Worrying whether they have treated others badly.
- Reluctance to take on challenges.
- Reluctance to put themselves first – or anywhere.
- Reluctance to trust their own opinion.
- Expecting little out of life for themselves.
As they say, “The map is not the territory”, which is to say, our model of the world is always going to be at least a little bit wrong, and might be a lot wrong.
… And for a rational person, when we notice that we are confused, this lets us know that our model, our map, is wrong – and this is an opportunity to update our beliefs, to enable us to be more successful in navigating through life.